Learning how to love yourself

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Very often we spend most of our time, appreciating the people in our lives. We are grateful for their presence and spend our energy showing our love in multiple forms. It ranges from giving gifts, cooking food, going on trips or planning a date.

In this process, we tend to forget how precious we are for our own selves. We forget to pause and give time for ourselves. Many times we don’t even know how to love ourselves and how to begin this journey of self-love.

Learning how to love yourself is not a fast process nor is it a difficult process. It takes time but it is essential for your well-being. If you don’t love yourself, you will not be able to love others. Sometimes it might also affect your relationships and your work-life. Self-acceptance and Self-love cannot be achieved in a click. However, working on this process and taking the time to trust this process is crucial.

Here are a few methods to love yourself and appreciate yourself –

1.Be truly present with yourself.

Give yourself some time. Spend time doing things you love the most. When you are doing an activity, even if it is a simple task like laundry, concentrate on what you are doing. We often miss out on the actual event occurring as our minds are always thinking about the next activity that needs to be done. Try to enjoy what you are doing at the present moment.

2.Forgive yourself.

Reflecting and looking back on your mistakes is a good activity. It helps you accept what has occurred and forgive yourself. Repressing your feelings and being tough on yourself can lead to guilt and anger towards yourself. Try to forgive yourself and love yourself for who you are. Everyone makes mistakes and that’s what makes us human. It is okay to trip once in a while. That does not make you a bad person. Accept yourself and forgive yourself. If you have hurt anyone, apologize. Don’t hold onto negative feelings like guilt or revenge. It does more harm than good. Forgive and move past the problem.

3.Surprise yourself with a gift.

Gift yourself something that you think would be useful for you. It can be a journal, a new book or even a board game. Gifts are a sign of gratitude and appreciation we give our ourselves. It is good to gift yourself something nice and love yourself. We tend to feel extremely happy when someone gives us a gift, and we often feel guilty when we buy ourselves something. We are taught to feel bad when we indulge and buy something for ourselves. This need not be the case. Getting something for yourself, once in a while is a great way to appreciate your own worth and effort. Only you know how hard you work and how much work you invest in to reach where you are. It is completely okay to reward yourself for this.

4.Learn to say No.

This might be a tough one. Making boundaries is a very crucial step for self-care. Being able to say no to others and prioritizing yourself is one form of self-love. Keeping yourself over others will subconsciously let you realize that your value and time is worth more for yourself than others. Make sure you give yourself the time to grow. If you are not available and cannot socialize for that day, you are always free to say no. There is nothing to feel guilty or bad about.

5.Take care of yourself

Take time to indulge in some self-care activities. It is good to take some time off from work and stress. You can take a hot shower and play some music in the background. You can also apply some face masks and bask in the sun on your balcony. Take a break once in a while to spend some quality time with yourself. Sometimes we spend so much time trying to know other people, we end up losing touch with ourselves. Spend time with yourself, understand what interests you. Learn more about your insecurities and how to overcome them. Do not dwell on things that upset you for long. Take care of yourself and you will learn how to love yourself. Trust the process.

6.Challenge your negative beliefs.

When you perform an activity or try something new in your life for example a new sport. Try to believe that you will do good at it. Even if you do bad, do not come to the conclusion that you are bad at the game. Be gentle with yourself and challenge your negative beliefs. Don’t come to immediate negative conclusions about yourself if you do one thing wrong. Look deeper and try to understand why you have these negative beliefs. Everyone is not the best at the first try. Be kinder to yourself.

7.Use Positive Affirmations.

Wake up every morning and think about something good that you would like to do for yourself and your health. Look at yourself in the mirror and say 3 positive things about yourself. Talking to yourself and using positive words for yourself will help boost your confidence and make you feel good about your self. It can help build respect and increase your self-worth. You can use sentences like “I am good enough”, “I am talented and work hard every day”, “I look beautiful today”. These words bring in positive emotions into your life and make you love yourself more and more every day.

8.Go Travel.

Fight your fears and travel alone. Travelling and exploring new places can be a great way to get closer to yourself. Observing new cultures, having different food and just being with yourself in this journey can be a whole new experience. Travelling can help you explore the unexplored. This applies not just to the physical place itself but also parts of you that you have never explored. It can open a whole new avenue in your life. This can be one way to acquire self-love.

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9.Celebrate your achievements.

It’s good to celebrate your own achievements, be proud of what you have done. Give yourself a pat on the back for doing what you did. It is not easy to always get done with something, you deserve to be appreciated by others and especially yourself. You can celebrate it with yourself or with your family. Have a nice dinner, watch a good movie and indulge in a dessert if you like. It is good to take a pause and look back on all the improvements you have made in life. Don’t measure your achievements as big or small. Anything that you do that has made you happy and has created a positive change in your life is something you should be proud of.

10.Live life for yourself.

Do what you love to do the most. Choose a career path or a college course because you want to do it. Your parents or other family members might force you to take something they wish. In the end, it is your life and you are going to live with yourself forever. If your interest lies elsewhere then,

choose that and stay with it. If you let other people control your life decisions you won’t be able to love the person that you really are.

11.Take care of your health.

Taking care of your mental and physical health is a form of self-love. Your body requires regular exercising, movement and nutrients. Give your body the nourishment it requires. Along with physical health, make sure you are also taking care of your mental health. Spend some time on meditation, journaling or even painting. Taking care of your overall health is a step to loving yourself.

12.Seek professional help.

There is nothing wrong with seeking help from an external source. It is one of the best investments you can make. Self-rejection and self-neglect can affect you in the long-term. We don’t realize that taking help from others can sometimes be very beneficial for our own well-being.

You can join a support group, talk to a counselor or consult a life coach.

13. Reflect on the affects of Self-love.

The more you keep practicing self-love you will notice changes in the way you perceive things. Sit and reflect on all the changes that have occurred after you started your journey of self-love. Understanding and being aware of the affect of the process will help you stay committed to the process. Try to notice how your energy levels are, or how you bond with yourself and your family is. You might have more control in your life and feel more confident in yourself.

It might take a long time to completely love yourself. But starting that journey now can help you understand yourself and learn how to love yourself. Give yourself time and space to grow.

Spend more quality time with yourself. Talk to yourself. You are the most important person for yourself. Give yourself the same time and energy you give others.

It cannot happen overnight but can definitely over multiple nights.