Marriage is a bond between two souls. Two people who come together, fall in love, have an equal understanding, culminate the marriage relationship. It is the union between two people, irrespective of caste, creed, and sex. It is the union of two souls believing in each other, loving each other, and most importantly trusting each other.
Being married to a like-minded person is the best part of marriage. You know you have found a soul mate in your partner. Life becomes easy and you are happy irrespective of anything because you have the unwavering support of your life partner. Such a marriage is a perfect union of two souls which seems to grow and mature with time.
Then you are stuck in a marriage where you are not sure if you understand each other. There is a lack of communication or no communication at all. You both are only staying together for the sake of it. There is no deeper connection, no spark, nothing. This is a spiritually unequal marriage. And today you will get to see how you can understand if you are stuck in a spiritually unequal marriage.
What is the difference between a spiritually equal and spiritually unequal marriage?
Before you can understand the signs of being in a spiritually unequal marriage, you need to establish what is a spiritually equal and unequal marriage is all about.
In a relationship when you do not need to hide, you tend to be yourself, you are your happier self. Your partner is not just a partner, they are more than your best friend. They know you inside out and yet choose to love you, respect you, and be with you daily. You have the same disposition in life, and you tend to understand each other without even having to say anything. Such is a spiritually equal marriage where the union is of two equal people. Your thought process, your belief, your mindset is all set in the same way. However, there will be disagreements. And even in those disagreements, you will find ways to come to a common conclusion. You will find common ground to lay the rules and not be bothered about it. Such is a spiritually equal marriage where you can be yourself.
Relationships become difficult when the people involved in them refuse to acknowledge the individuality of one another. There is a vast difference between what you feel, and what you show in front of each other. There is a disconnect somehow. Spiritually unequal marriages happen between two people where one is a believer and the other one is a non-believer.
Being a believer means you have trust and faith in the higher power, in the Almighty. You have followed the path of Christ and you have complete faith and trust in Him. A nonbeliever will question your ways and your faith. They will always be skeptical of the way you handle things in life and question your every move in life. Such is the case with a spiritually unequal marriage.
There is a disconnect, a loss of trust and faith in the relationship, and, most importantly, a lack of warmth and love in the relationship. This is the essential difference between a spiritually equal marriage and a spiritually unequal marriage.
How do you know you are in a spiritually unequal marriage?
From the onset of being together in a relationship that culminates into marriage, many pointers can guide you to understand that you are in a spiritually unequal marriage. We often tend to avoid these factors, but these are significant in understanding the disposition of the other person and understanding whether you are in a spiritually unequal marriage. Before selecting and agreeing to get married to a person who is not meant for you, go through these below pointers for a better understanding.
- Discussions leading to disagreements and arguments: In any relationship, be it personal or professional, you will come across people having different opinions and thought processes. You behave and you used to maintain a cordial relationship with each other. When it comes to marriage, those differences of opinions and discussions end up in arguments and huge fights. The reason for such fights is usually of no importance or value. But then they explode in your face. Your disagreements lead to arguments. There is no conclusive way to end such an argument unless one accepts defeat and sits quietly.
- There is a sense of discomfort always: Even being married to a person of your liking, you always feel discomfort. There is always a sense of doubt in your mind. You tend to question everything because nothing seems to work out the way it was supposed to be in your mind. There is no sense of security in a spiritually unequal marriage. And in such a marriage, you cannot even approach yourself to look for answers from within. It becomes all the more difficult to deal with everything and everyone around you. A spiritually unequal marriage will also affect your mind. So one needs to be positive and happy in the run.
- Religious conflicts: When one follows the teachings of Christ, and the other one is a non-believer, there are high chances that give rise to religious conflicts. You both will always be at loggerheads for the same mistakes I make. Religion is a sensitive topic for all. Having understood how not to indulge in such a conversation that can hurt your sentiments is indeed important. Being a regular churchgoer and finding peace and tranquility in the teachings of the Almighty is a true blessing. While the other one has no such inclinations and tries to stop you from reaching out to the church, your congregation. And slowly you start missing out on your Sunday mass and tend to spend more time at home. Such fights can force you to get depressed and get thinking about how you are stuck in a spiritually unequal marriage.
- Lack of communication and connection: The spark, the flame of marriage and, being together for such a long time in life goes missing. You will hide your feelings, but your expressions will speak up. The connection is lost forever. The kids are your priority and not the companionship of your partner. The basic need to communicate with your partner is lost forever. This is where you realize the marriage is a spiritual failure and with time, you will tend to ignore each other’s presence completely. This is where you will realize you are stuck in a loveless, selfish marriage where you are never happy and confident about yourself, your choices.
- Lose your self-respect and confidence: Being in an unhappy marriage can affect your mental health too. Your self-respect, your confidence, all go for a toss. Because you are never at peace with yourself or your partner. There is chaos around you and never a means to get assurance or positivity in life. In such an unhappy situation, you tend to lose your confidence, your self-respect. Not many people have understood the meaning of not connecting in a marriage. Being in a failed marriage and losing yourself is a curse indeed. Being in a spiritually unequal marriage can lead you to take such drastic steps in life.
- No intimacy or physical compatibility: This is a major pointer that can help you understand that you are in a spiritually unequal marriage. With the one person, you have decided to spend the rest of your life with you cannot even be physically compatible. If you cannot be open and honest, it is not a relationship you should care about. There is no physical intimacy between a married couple and zero physical compatibility. If you are stuck in such a spiritually unequal marriage, understand you need to make things work and not just accept everything and anything. Even when it comes to intimacy and being physically compatible, you need to be comfortable with other. This is a major pointer in establishing a life-long relationship with your partner. When there is a lack of such intimacy and compatibility, you automatically understand what you are missing in your married life.
- Lack of trust in each other: When you do not entertain each other, understand each other, there are bound to be trust issues. Being in a spiritually unequal marriage has this consequence. The partners themselves end up questioning everything. There is no trust in such a relationship. And such relationships do not thrive well. There is a lack of trust which leads to lots of disturbances and complications in the future for both of you.
Having understood the many ways, you can now identify if you are in spiritually equal or unequal marriage. You also need to understand that you cannot end a marriage just like that. There are ways you can work on the many flaws and ensure that your spiritually unequal marriage turns into a spiritually equal one. The confidence, the trust, the physical compatibility needs to be built up to ensure you have a happy married life too.
Everyone deserves happiness in their lives. And you should always strive to get what you genuinely want from your life. There will be trials and tribulations. But nothing should put you down. If you truly set your mind to it, you are bound to come up with some equally amazing ideas which can help you with spiritually equal and compatible marriage.
Here are a few points which can help you with the solution for making your marriage a spiritually equal one.
- Understand each other. If one is angry and causing a fight, the other one should show patience and try to be calm. Once the anger subsides, find a favorable opportunity to discuss the reason behind the anger and the fight. Ensure to be supportive and understanding when you hear the reason, no matter how absurd it may sound.
- Respect each other and give space. You have your own individual personality and so goes for your partner. Each one of you deserve your own sweet time and space. Do not crowd your partner with a bunch of questions. Learn to trust the path and sit back and see how they are responding.
- Agree to disagree on things. Whenever there is a disagreement about anything, sit back and relax. Do not indulge in an argument and make things worse. Try To see how the other person is reacting to the situation and what is the cause of it. Respect each other’s boundaries. And that is how your marriage will be a spiritually equal one.
- Keep each other’s religious ideologies to get the best of the world. Practice meditation and follow the ideology which can help you both of you grow.
- Being spiritually connected, you need to develop a bond where you understand each other without even having to say a word. Such bonds do not develop overnight. You need to understand each other’s disposition and act accordingly. Once you know how the other person will react in a given situation, you will automatically feel the spiritual connection within.
- Physical intimacies matter a lot when it comes to developing a relationship and maintaining compatibility. You can start small, maybe by holding hands, giving hugs, understanding how your body reacts to each other’s touch, and gradually take it ahead. Such small steps can help you built confidence in the relationship as well.
These small things matter so much in life. Married or not, each relationship needs its own time to bloom and blossom. You cannot force people to like you, nor you can be forced by others for the same. Hence, it becomes all the more important to understand the process of establishing a spiritually equal marriage. It can also help you understand if you are involved in a spiritually unequal marriage. It will guide you follow the necessary steps to turn it around and find what you have always been looking for, a spiritually equal marriage. Marriages are made in heaven but maintained on earth by us humans.