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As a former Youth Pastor who was the first Minister to be authorized to serve as a Chaplain in a Public H.S. for a swim team in California; who has a total of 36 yrs in ministry, as a Sr. Pastor, Assistant Pastor, Youth Pastor, & Evangelist; Let me say this: Any Pastor worth his weight, will not be writing letters. He would rather build relationships with the youth in his/her parish. He would be found visiting with the youth & their parents in their homes. (Not to preach either! Just to visit.) He'd be known to befriend and lead by love - respect -example. He would rather lead his youth to become involved in School activities so the youth would automatically feel comfortable in inviting their friends to church youth activities. The Pastor would stay in tune , w/ the Youth Pastor, of the schedules of activities in school of all the youth in the church. That way, he/she could converse effectively with the youth as individuals. Church activities would then be scheduled at times when the majority of the youth could attend, rather than attempting to force youth to decide between school activities - some which might lead to college scholarships in fact; & church activities that though will be remmembered, won't help raise funds for college. Rather, the Pastors would want to guide the youth into being positve role models to their peers at school. But, what do I know? I just raised two boys. The younger wanted to join the USAF/CAP. So, what did I & his Mom do? We joined too! Think of the example to all of the other youth in the squadron, & to their poarents as well? Especially, when as a Minister, we would get opportunities to open the squad meetings in prayer..... Of course, our ministry is different from most. My Ordained Wife & I have ministered to hundreds out in the public arena in stores, banks, gas stations, parking lots, malls. I mean in relational faith in Jesus, praying for folks, seeing Jesus heal them of incurrable diseases too. As well as ministering inside the four walls of the church buildings. On to my second thought. Why was the Pastor having to get authorization from uneducated Laity as an educated, Ordained, Pastor to be doing what God called him/her to do: Shepherd the sheep! Sheep don't shepherd sheep! Shepherds lead the sheep. Oops, there I go again. I'd dare every Ordained Minister reading this blog to do an indepth exigetical Word Study concerning the Early Church Structure versus the way the Laity has taken over the control of the Church today. No where in Holy Scripture did it authorize Deacons & Boards of Laity to have authority to run, manage, or be in authority over the Pastor. Rather, Paul & the Council of Twelve Apostles set the Deacons & Elders to be under the authority of the Five Offices of Leadership Authority over the Church, being the Apostles, the Prophets, the Rabbi/Teachers, the Shepherd/Pastors, the Evangelists. Its only been in the last 200-275 years that the 'Church' has been functioning the other way around. (And) every time I read of some Deacon Board being in Authority over the Pastor, I cringe! Why? Because everyone likes to say they are a Biblical Based Church. Wrong! If they followed the strict structure of the New Testament Church, Paul the Apostle & Cephas/Peter, the Head Apostle, with James the Brother of Jesus, would be going around casting men & women out of the Church as out of order for having their congregations being run by Deacons & Elders. In the Word, there was only one job assigned for Deacons: Travel throughout each City-State in the Empire, collecting funds, clothing, & food, warehousing it, and distributing it to the families in need. (Just like food pantry ministries do today). And Elders? In the Early Church, just as in Judaism as a whole; Elder simply meant the Oldest Belivers. The Old Believing men were to pray for the sick with the Pastors. The Old women were to feed, bathe the feet, and clothe the ministers and the saints, and the poor, as well as teach the young girls in how to be good wives. That's all folks! No more, no less! Not hire Pastors! Not vote on Church Budgets, Not set Church agendas! Na-Da! No Way! Now, so many churches are loosing members. They see few souls saved or healed, or restored. Well, what do they expect? THey are operating their 'Churches' out of order! They are simply not functioning Biblically based! So, how can they expect God to truly move among them? Paul wrote that the church was to be operating decent and in order! When churches are not functioning according to the decent order set up by the Council of Twelve Apostles with Paul, they are simply out of order. I know! It's not popular to preach hard truth! We are in the Laodocean Church Age. So, I don't expect anyone will be willing to even do some historically proven research to risk having to be faced with the fact that I write the simple truth. Just think of how many 'Churches' would be closed if Lay Deacons had the guts to repent, step down, and stand with their heads bowed, before congregations, admitting they have not been biblical as they had firmly declared in times past. But, they won't! Why? They like the power it gets them! They wouldn't want to be forced to repent and come under submission to the Biblical Authorities that God ordered them to be servants of the Lord under! Their Pastors! THey wouldn't want Boards being made up of councils of Pastors either! They wouldn't be able to mess with the tithe funds like they do now, strutting down the aisles of their churches, taking the best seats, while sitting smuggly, as they critique every word preached. They would loose the power to push and prod other laity into quiting their church when they simply don't like a person. And Heaven forbid! They would loose the authority to pick which type of songs were scheduled to be sung in the services. THey might be forced, rather, to sing a hymn that might convict themselves of sin in their life. I know, Hell Fire & Damnation preaching! No! Paul the attorney/apostle would declare! "Sound Doctrine! Keep Preaching until someone falls over dead, so I can pray them back alive like I did back in New TEstament Days! (That's if Paul could return to any number of Churches today) I'll take my stiring spoon and go home now! Bye Bye!

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I can understand your colleague's frustration with his board but it seems that their response is indicative of a deeper (or perhaps broader) problem. It appears that the pastor has a different view of the church than the board and congregation. It also appears the pastor and board have a different view of the nature of his responsibilities and how he should carry them out. This is certainly not an isolated incident, I daresay it is pandemic within the evangelical church at large, at least in the US.
In general, there is little understanding in the church of the Biblical doctrine of the church - who or what is she, what is her mission, what are her methods, what role does each individual within the church have, who defines and regulates all of that? The obvious right answer is that God defined it, He communicated that definition to us in His Word, it is our responsibility to understand it and follow it because God's Word is authoritative and not negotiable. The pastor needs to teach this first to his board, then to the congregation at large. And by the way, regular church attendance is not simply important, it's a command. Once the church clearly understands again her God-given mandate, she can be the salt and light in the community God designed her to be.
As for the letter, it certainly showed the pastor there is a problem within the church. But I would question the wisdom of sending it. Pastors are charged with preaching, that is proclaiming authoritatively, the whole counsel of God. Since the whole counsel of God includes the command for corporate worship and regular assembling of the body as well as the responsibility of parents to train their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, the pastor should preach it. And he should not fear the frowns of his board or congregation; far more should he fear the frown of God if he fails to proclaim the whole truth from God's Word.
Could that mean that parents will be faced with helping their kids make tough decisions? Certainly, since it is impossible to accommodate every possible schedule. But if we're talking about obedience to God and His commands, it comes down to a question of whose blessing we want - that of our awesome Creator, Savior, Lord and Judge, or that of the world and its institutions.

What our youth learn while at church or at home should be a heart thing with our Savior,remember the great commission of the church is to go out into all the world with the good news,our kids can be a christian leader on the sports fields or events that they are at, but don't let them continually miss church for events. They must be rebuilt and strengthened to fight off evil things around them. from a Bible student

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Small churches do have unique challenges that usually center around resources, i.e., monetary and human resources. To often there are simply not enough dollars in the coffers, or enough bodies to fulfill all of the roles in the church, particularly when a church has an overly-aggressive agenda for its size (there are a few "me too churches" out there, who wish to act as if they were a much larger assembly).

If you apply the 20/80 rule to the church, realistically, a church with a membership of 100 parishioners on the books, is being served and financed by about 20 parishioners, lets call them, 'the faithful'. For getting half of the membership to participate in church activities or giving on a regular basis, is a challenge to even larger congregations.

I have witnessed the faithful in smaller congregations working tireleslly in order to ensure that the agenda of the church is a success. This small group of, 'the faithful', are usually responsible for the majority of the finances that come in to the church (they provide the majority of the tithes and offerings). These faithful ones often hold more than one office in the church, participate in extra fund-raising activities, and are there to fill the seats each time the church doors open in support of each ministry or program being offered by the church. And there's is usually a labor of love, whereas the pastor and others receive at least some compensation for their efforts!

Having said that, a tremendous burden is often placed on the families of the faithful, particularly those who are raising children. For the children of the faithful, whose parents usually also hold down part-time or full-time jobs (for in many instances today both parents work), grow up resenting their parents and the church when the parents are missing from their lives, and when the parents demand an equal commitment from them to participate in church activities.

Although I believe that parents are responsible for and to, "train up children in the way that they should go", and should require their adequate participation in church activities in order to receive their spiritual shaping and foundation, I recognize that parents are also dependent upon community and educational organizations to participate in the shaping of their youngsters. I do not believe that an insensitive church with an overbearing agenda is what God wants for our churches or families. That can drive not only parents, but the children away. I often run into children and adults who actually still resent the church for stealing away portions of their childhoods.

Youngsters in their formative years, need balance in their lives in order to grow up to be balanced and happy adults! Many larger congregations today can provide educational facilities, sports and other activities for youngsters (that interest youngsters), that smaller churches often cannot provide. However, even the larger churches recognize that they cannot do it all. They partner with and depend on resources outside of the church to complete the shaping of children and teens.

Smaller churches must recognize their need to depend on educational and other community resources, and to come to view these resources as partners and not competitors. For it really does, "take a village', to raise a child.

Young people need both the teachings of the church and participation in social skills development activities outside of the church, i.e., those vital activities that many adults no longer place a premium upon. Children develop and learn skills outside of the church that are needed for their continued growth and development within the church. Most churches don't teach reading, writing, arithmetic or even social and other skills development that is being taught in a community or secular educational facility. Besides, when you think about it, how long does a football, soccer, baseball or basketball season last, 90 days or more? The majority of the child's year is there for the church, keeping in mind that most youngsters attend Sunday services on a year round basis, and most children do not attend school during the summer months.

Pastors and churches should not despair or panic, for God knows how to build his house (not by power or might, but by his Spirit). God knows that to every purpose, there is time and judgment, Eccl. 8:6, and that there is a season and time for every purpose under the son. Eccl 3:1-12 (even the time and seaon for children to grow into adulthood). In those instances where youngsters appear to have abandoned the church altogether in favor of secular or other outside activities, I understand your concern, however, God knows how to deliver the godly out of temptation, particularly Godly children who have been predestined and are set aside for his purposes. You Are Not Failing!

I can recall two youngsters in the scripture who loved the things of God. One youngster was twelve years old and the other was eight years. The former went missing on one occasion, during a trip with his relatives to Jerusalem. His parents searched for him, however, initially, they could not find him. When they did find him, he was found at all places, among the scholars and teachers asking questions. The other child was very close to the church of his time, in fact he lived there. And one night he actually heard the voice of the Lord calling him, three times, for he was a chosen vessel until the Lord.

Both of these children moved in time with the Spirit (one at 8 years of age and one at 12 years of age), but neither before it was time! We cannot rush the kids!

Until congregations are large enough or healthy enough to provide all of the needs of a child, they should see educational and community resources as partners and extensions of the church. They are there to help fill in the gaps, and to help support the mission of the church, i.e., to help parents to raise healthy and balanced youngsters. Churches are also dependent on these institutions to help prepare future leaders for the church.

Self-deprecating ministers and ministries in smaller and larger congregations must, as their churches continue to grow, ask themselves, are we a "me-too" church? Are we trying to be like the church down the street? Are we sticking with the vision that God has given for our church assembly? Are we trying, on the other hand, to have activities in our church that (realistically) we simply do not have the human or capital resources for at this time? Many churches must ask themselves, are we trying to move too fast, even ahead of God? Certainly youngsters need to be ministered to, but are there other ministries within the church that should be attended to at the time, while the church continues to seek God about the business of building a spirit-guided youth ministry?

I would encourage those pastors to consider what their churches have to offer the children and then to seek God, asking him, am I following your leading, for you know how to build your church?

I commend the pastor who sought out feedback from the Board. Rehoboam, did not understand the need to consult and seek out wise counsel. His actions, attitude and behavior, contributed to the splitting of the tribes of Israel. The Board in the aforementioned church may have prevented the church from being split. Remember, he that gains souls is wise!

Successful churches always seek the anointing and leadership of the spirit, and use wisdom when tackling difficult challenges with the laity. Most of the New Testament is comprised of letters written by Apostles to the churches spread abroad, so writing a letter in season, in my view, is not a bad thing. And getting feedback is not a bad idea, more pastors should do that.

I am very familiar with a church on the west coast that moved too fast in building the youth program in their church. In a short period of time the church was sued after youngsters in the youth program were molested by the youth leaders!

Finally, discussing a plan with other ministers in order to garner ideas or input is not a bad idea either. The Apostle Paul attended a few conferences himself, and on a few occasions was required to humble himself and to submit to the wisdom of his counselors. There is nothing worse than autocratic leaders who will not accept any input from the members of the church or the church board!

In the final analysis, all who lack wisdom should ask of God who gives wisdom freely, for he won't upbraid you. After receiving his guidance, pray that the Lord of the Harvest will send labors into the vineyard to construct a youth ministry in your church, one that is in accordance with his plan and his timing!. For as the two youngsters mentioned above, Jesus and Samuel both of whom loved the church and the Lord, (both being set aside for the master's use) showed up on time, those who God has selected for your youth ministry will be in the right place at the right time. In the interim, do your best with and build upon the God-ordained ministries that God has already placed in your church. But if you are not moving with the Spirit, you could wound the consciences of the parents or children in your congregation and force them to choose between an occasional school activity or their church.

Rev. C. Solomon