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Will I Be Married in Heaven?
by:
Frederica Mathewes-Green
Q. Since the recent death of my wife, a godly "Proverbs 31" woman, I
have been wondering if our marriage will continue in heaven.
-John Riesberg, via e-mail
May God bless and comfort you, John, on the loss of your dear wife. You
can be confident that we will someday be reunited with our believing
loved ones. In 1 Thessalonians, the apostle Paul assures the early
Christians that they will see their departed friends and family again
upon Christ's return (4:13-14). What's more, in his description of the
Resurrection of the Dead, Paul stresses that heaven's beauty and joy
will be infinitely greater than anything we experience in this present
life (1 Cor. 15:35-57).
So, I think it's safe to say you will see your wife again. Your
question, however, is more specific: will your marriage will continue in
heaven?
Most Protestant commentators since the Reformation have not been
comfortable going that far. However there is an earlier strand of
interpretation, from the first centuries of the church, that I find
appealing. It would suggest that there is a special meaning to the
marriage bond that continues in heaven, though we can't know what it
will be like. It is based on Paul's description of marriage in Ephesians
5: 21-33, which concludes: "This mystery is a profound one, and I am
saying that it refers to Christ and the church."
What might that mystery be? Fourth-century commentator John Chrysostom
connects Paul's words with Jesus' teaching that "the two become one
flesh," and with Genesis 1:27, "God created man in his own image…male
and female he created them." Male and female yearn to reunite,
Chrysostom says, in order to regain our original creation as the image
of God.
Scriptures like these suggest that the marriage bond has a spiritual
meaning different from that of most earthly relationships. If so, God
may preserve that mysterious quality in heaven just as he seeks to do on
earth: "What God has joined together, let not man separate" (Mark 10:9).
The Sadducees attempted to trip Jesus up with a question about marriage
in the next life (Matt. 22:23-33). They believed that the resurrection
of the body was a silly idea and spun a tale in which a woman had been
successively the wife of seven brothers. Would they all try to claim her
in heaven? Jesus restated the reality of the Resurrection, and explained
that in heaven no new marriages are formed: "they neither marry nor are
given in marriage." He doesn't say what happens when a person has had
more than one spouse, so I can't tell you.
Although we can't imagine how the marriage relationship might appear in
heaven, it's sure that we will see and enjoy our believing friends and
family again. In fact, John, it's possible that this temporary
separation between you and your wife is felt only on your part. She is
very likely united with you in worship in that "great cloud of
witnesses," honoring God in heaven even now (Heb. 12:1).
A Prodigal Daughter
Q. My daughter, claiming to be Christian, is living with her
boyfriend. My spirit grieves when I visit her and my two grandchildren.
If I follow I Corinthians 5:11, I would have to disassociate myself from
her altogether! I want to please the Lord and not compromise, yet be
there for my daughter. What should I do?
-Carlene Breen, Baldwinville, Massachusetts
In this complex situation, the first thing to remember is that you must
continue to love and pray for your daughter. Secondly, keep your eyes on
the goal: you are trying to help her return to honoring God's standards.
In I Corinthians 5:3-5 and II Corinthians 2:5-11 we see Paul's method in
action: he applies enough discipline to motivate a person to rethink
their behavior and turn, but not so much as to crush them with despair.
It doesn't seem that disassociating from your daughter would have the
desired effect, and the harm to your grandchildren would be severe. Am I
right in assuming that you have already discussed this situation with
your daughter, and shown her from the Scriptures why it is displeasing
to God? In that case, the most persuasive thing you can do is
communicate, even wordlessly, that this situation saddens you. If she
already knows that you disapprove, harping on the reasons why might just
make her defensive. Instead, show how her actions sadden you. Show that
it hurts you to be spiritually separated from her, and that above all
else you still love her and long for her return. It's likely you can't
conceal this anyway. Her awareness of your loving concern may gradually
awaken something in her, and wear away her defenses like water against a
stone.
Been There, Done That
Q. How does the Bible explain déjà vu?
-Athena Bici, via e-mail
Didn't somebody ask me this question already?
Actually, the Bible doesn't appear to address déjà vu. But one leading
theory is that parts of the brain fall briefly out of sync, so that
while one side is recording an event as fresh input, another is saying,
"Hey, I've already filed that as memory!" Maybe it's a foretaste of how
we'll feel the first moment we step into heaven, and recognize it as the
home we have been seeking all our lives.
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Frederica Mathewes-Green
www.frederica.com
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